Vicious Recommendation

What's Your Raashee? is not a complete dud. Apart from being an effective cure for insomnia, you will love this film if and only if:
1. You love going to theatres to enjoy the mahaul – the popcorn, the guys/gals, and are addicted to such settings.
2. You are dumb enough to love tuneless, meaningless songs picturised on equally or more meaningless scenarios.
3. You are so bored that you don’t mind watching boringly long films with nothing to offer to kill time.
4. You plan to test the world’s most boring and illogical concepts used in films.
5. You have withstood similar or more difficult boredom tests such as having a nagging spouse/friends/parents/colleagues/etc or a boring colleague who can bore the shit out of you (not literally!).
6. You believe that art is a product of whims and fancies. You would enjoy ‘Arts for art’s sake’ in its truest sense. The humble Ashutosh always aimed for the bouncers… err skies! And the skies are accessible only through faith, not logic.
7. You love a guy/gal but they are in a relationship with some good-for-nothing. Urge the villain to buy the tickets. Your eye-candy will not even wait for the interval of the film to break up with the villain.
8. You have wanted to chat with your better half for a long time. No constructive topic, as you choose to disagree on every topic from food to films to fetish. This is the film for you. You both will happily crib about this film and non-stop for 3 hours 45 minutes. Now that’s quality time – no silly, not for films but for soul-to-soul chats.
9. You want to serve the society. (Don’t give me that How-on-earth expression please). Actually, Ashutosh, being the humanitarian that he is, decided that seeds of great values such as patience and being non-judgmental take time to mature. So, he made a film which worked as a complete package – each passing scene and characters are so obvious and intolerable that they test different levels of patience. By the end of the film, you have withstood and are immune to stress tests. The best part is that people exiting from theatres have a calm yogic smile that can only be achieved with tough penance. Ashutosh made it look so easy and bearable. Hail Ashutosh!
10. You are a believer who sees the Divine Hand behind each design. Believers are a step ahead of determinists. You will realize and appreciate the plausibility of 12 Priyanka Chopras of 12 different sun signs responding to the hero’s (can’t make ‘h’ look smaller than this) profile. While other movie buffs are baffled by the illogical approach you would not even be mildly surprised.
11. You are a Good Samaritan, who cares for the well-being of all associated with the film.
12. You are a karmic yogi, who expects nothing and believes in toeing life’s course.
13. You are God! You will forgive Ashutosh’s sin and bear the pain with a smile.
14. You are Buddha. You will have no desire hence no desire to walk out of the theatre or bash Ashutosh for such trash or kick the hell out of Harman to ensure that he understands he can’t act to save his life.
15. You have been contemplating suicide. You would instantly realize the futility of thinking, which is so well-exhibited by the prime characters and the director himself. You would see how like the film, nothing in life, makes sense. No point applying logic.